The thing with pretending you’re in a good mood is that sometimes you can actually trick yourself into feeling better
The emptiness I've always carried inside me expanded
I’ve always had these bouts with depression; I hide them well, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Some mornings it’s all I can do to get out of bed and face another day. So it wasn’t Izzy’s leaving me alone in the apartment so much as it was that I didn’t have anybody around for whom I had to put on a cheerful mask. The thing with pretending you’re in a good mood is that sometimes you can actually trick yourself into feeling better. Without Izzy being there every day, the emptiness I’ve always carried inside me expanded until it threatened to swallow me whole.
So I thought I’d try therapy. Sophie’s been through it. And Wendy. Even Christy, though lord knows why he would have needed it, he always seems so self-contained. Still, I suppose people say the same thing about me. We’re back to masks, I guess.
by Charles de Lint
(born 22 December 1951)
from Memory and Dream
Chapter – Journal Entries
image – mistermundo
March 25th, 2011 at 8:22 am
I understand completely, having struggled with significant depression, experienced putting on the paper bag with a drawn-on smile, and undergone extensive, mostly quite helpful, therapy.
April 30th, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Love this. I sort of live by this principle. It’s often true.